Category Archives: Goals

Trust the Ones Who Believe in You

At the end of this month, I leave for a week long retreat to study with the author Natalie Goldberg.

I met Natalie when I was a creative writing student at Sonoma State University in the early 1990’s. She appeared at Copperfield’s Bookstore in Sebastopol, California, to discuss her latest book, Long Quiet Highway: Waking up in America. Sitting with Ed, who always attended every poetry reading, lecture, book signing, and festival with me, I listened to Natalie speak from the heart about her life, her book, and her writing practice.

Years later, while completing my five mile morning run, I received a call from the Santa Fe Writer’s Lab. I had been invited to attend Natalie’s last 2018 retreat. I had read Natalie’s latest memoir, Let the Whole Thundering World Come Home, about her surviving cancer and knew her time teaching was limited. The invitation arrived after several misadventures left me questioning my decision to pursue writing full-time as a career. To be invited to practice beginner’s mind and explore the world through writing practice infused me with hope.

As soon as I arrived home, I told my husband, Kevin. “Sounds like an opportunity.” He quickly checked the calendar. “We have no plans. You should go.”

Next, I called my ex-husband, Ed. I would need to rearrange our childcare schedule in order to attend the retreat.

“Of course,” he said.

An hour later, after speaking with the retreat coordinator, I called Ed again. “I don’t think I’m going to attend. Everything is more complicated than I first envisioned.”

“When are you going to go?” Ed asked.

“I’m not going,” I said.

“When are you going to go?” he patiently repeated.

When would I go? Tears stung my eyes. The invitation was not for next year. Who even knew if Natalie would be alive and teaching? I had watched my father pass quickly after his lymphoma diagnosis. Within less than two weeks, he was gone.

“You may never get this opportunity again,” Ed said. He had rescued my first novel from a broken hard drive when I was seventeen. He had met Natalie when I was a college student. For thirty years, he witnessed my writing practice. “You need to go.”

Strengthened with resolve, I straightened my spine. “Okay, I’ll go.”

Within the next two hours, I found a flight, booked a room, and confirmed my schedule with the retreat coordinator.

Remember to listen when the Universe calls—not only to the opportunity being presented but to those who believe in you.