No, this is not an X-rated course on how to write erotica or porn. This is a brief article to address the question posed by a commentator last week about how to write sex scenes.
Writing a sex scene is no different than writing any other scene. Every scene must answer one or more questions:
Who is this scene about?
What does this person want? Why does she want it?
Who or what is stopping this person from getting what she wants?
How does this person attempt to get what she wants? Is she successful or not?
Let’s say you are writing a romantic story about a single-woman who has not had sex in a while and her girlfriends are starting to call her a prude. She doesn’t want to be known as a prude among her girlfriends and she doesn’t want to spend any more time wondering if she will find someone suitable as a boyfriend before she does have sex. Her goal is to have sex with the first eligible man available. After a series of mishaps and misadventures, she finally meets an eligible man at a party and invites him back to her place where the sex scene will take place.
How this woman will seduce the eligible man and how the eligible man responds to her attempts at seduction will be revealed through choices made by each character. The scene will build from action and reaction. Let’s say this single-woman is an ambitious career-woman who is used to taking charge of the board room but becomes timid and inhibited in the bedroom (that’s her history from what’s already been shown in previous chapters). In order for her to achieve her goal, she will have to bring some of her take-charge ambition into the bedroom. That’s how the sex scene will start. It can be a bit awkward and clumsy for the woman to act out of character, but she’s motivated by her desire to achieve her goal and she has a history of success with these same traits in other situations.
How the sex scene progresses depends on how the eligible man responds to the take-charge ambition of the woman in the bedroom. Is he a timid man in the work force but a social charmer used to getting what he wants on his own terms? If he is, he might not respond favorably to the timid-turned-aggressive woman. He might want to slow things down and turn them around so that he’s in charge. Or he might decide based on feelings or attraction to let her lead the way. Regardless of what he decides, there will be tension in the scene between these two characters when their personalities, needs, and wants come together. Things can get really interesting.
How general or explicit should you be when writing a sex scene? It depends on the story. There is no right or wrong answer. When in doubt, consider your audience. A reader of hot romance isn’t going to be satisfied with a demure lovemaking scene, but neither is a general reader going to be thrilled by an erotic blow-by-blow description.
In the end, a successful sex scene will involve high tension, high stakes, and high drama just like any other scene in a good story.
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